Jack & Me

Jack & Michelle

EURYTHMICS REVENGE TOUR, – WORCESTER, MA, 1986

I first met Jack Nicholson with Eurythmics.We were in Worcester, MA playing to the sold out arena which was brand new and state of the art at that time.

Jack was friends with Dave and Annie and as it happened he had just wrapped up shooting on a movie in nearby Cohasset called The Witches of Eastwick. Michelle Pfeiffer, Cher and some other talented actresses were in it. He took Michelle Pfeiffer to the concert that night.

Colombian bass player/composer/arranger extraordinaire and generally good pal of mine, Chucho Merchan (and very fun to be around) along with the ever so humble and sarcastic keyboardist Pat Seymour and I would occasionally (that is, whenever humanly possible) cop a gram of blow together before a show. We’d usually do it all up right before the show but for some reason this time they did their share ( and a bit more) but I didn’t get mine before showtime. After the show in the dressing room Chucho threw me a glass vial with my 1/3 of of G. Thanks a lot I said looking at the slim remains. He laughed, shrugged his shoulders and said don’t be late next time.

I tried to get in our bathroom but someone was in it and our dressing room was filling up fast with aftershow/backstage party people. As I said this was when the arena was new and Annie and Dave’s dressing room WAS amazing. So I’m weaving my way thru stars, actresses and the local hoi polloi and make it to their bathroom and I’m in luck. It’s empty. It was a very large bathroom and decorated tastefully and the band could have had a fucking party in there, but a weird thing about it was the toilet was right by the front door on the right as you walked in.

As I locked the door I remember thinking what a stupid place for a toilet.

So I do a couple of bumps of blow and suddenly someone’s banging the fuck out of the door yelling open up!!! Jack’s sick!! I tell them to hold on I’ll be out in a minute but they ain’t having it and keep banging. I finally open up and a guy is on all fours on the ground right in front of me and about 9 people staring at me. I grab the guy and drag him in the door and then slam it shut. The guy was heavy and I helped get him up to toilet and he puked some liquid.

It was Jack Nicholson.

I got him some paper towels to wipe his mouth and got a few wet ones and wiped his forehead. He hugged the toilet and I just kinda kicked back with the vial and watched him. I said, “WTF Jack, you puking nothing but liquid. Didn’t you eat?”

He said “Oh man. I was so nervous. ..I’d been asking Michelle Pfeiffer to go out the whole shoot. Months and finally we just finished filming and she says yes, she’ll go out with me tonight. So I get a limo, take her to dinner but all I ate was ice cream and a lot of champagne.”

As I’m listening to all this I’m tapping the glass vial against the sink. Any one who’s been down in it knows that sound. So I say,”Hey Jack? Ya wanna bump of this blow.” He goes white and starts to heave saying “Fuck you Jimmy, you’re really good but please man, DON’TTTTT!!!…” and then puked a bunch of bile. I’m laughing out loud now looking around his head in the toilet.

I say, “Goddammnnn, Jack!!! You’re a fucking hero of mine and you make a fucking rookie mistake. You know ya gotta eat and put a solid sponge in your gut if you’re gonna party!!! You’re puking water!! Here! Have a hit of this blow as I tapped it on the toilet.”

I know. I sound like a real prick, but I was just playing with him.

I’m sorry, but it was fun toying with that poor bastard.

He says “Oh man please…” but he’s grinning at me and starting to feel a little better.

His people are knocking on the door asking how he is and I ask Jack “Hey, ya want me to let them in?” and yells “NO!!!”

I asked if he wanted me to go and again he says “No, stay with me.”

About then there’s a light tap on the door and light feminine voice says, “Jack?? Are you alright? It’s me Michelle.”

MICHELLE FUCKING PFEIFFER!!!

I look at Jack and he says let her in. BUT ONLY HER. I open the door and ask her to come in, I look at all the people staring and slam the door right in all their faces.

Now I’m tripping and I think I can speak for any heterosexual man in the 80’s and maybe even homosexual men, that Michelle P. was the BOMB. After movies like Scarface with Al Pacino. I MEAN DAMN!!!

So damn beautiful. And SEXY!!

And here she is in a bathroom with me cooing over Jack fucking Nicholson just four feet from me.

AND SHE LOOKS GORGEOUS!

She says “Are you ok, Jack?” and he says “Yeah, my pal Jimmy here has been taking good care of me.” and he introduces me to her.

As I’m shaking her hand she compliments my playing during the show and I’m blown away she even knows who I am.

Jack is feeling better now and we’re all chatting like old pals and Michelle and Jack are such big fans of Annie Lennox and asking me all kinds of questions and I’m pulling their legs saying Annie is just the biggest bitch and then laughing when their mouths are open and then saying just kidding…ya know. I can’t help myself.

Finally after about 45 minutes of this I say well I guess I better leave you two alone and I swear at the exact same time they shout “NO!! Don’t go!”

So I stay.

To be honest I’m ready to get back to the party. We’d just played to 20,000 people and there was bound to be a pretty little thing just dying to meet me.

I finally say some lame ass thing like I’ve got to go check on my equipment or something and make an exit.

MICK JAGGER PARTY  –  HOLLYWOOD HILLS, 1993 

I was with my girlfriend, the beautiful Heather of Kentucky and we get word that there is a huge party going on at a mansion up in the Hollywood Hills being thrown by none other than Mick Jagger. So we go.

Damn, this party was going off. Big house with lots of people and plenty of booze. We’re cruising around checking out the place and who do I see strolling the grounds with 3 chicks on his arm but Jack Nicholson. He’s got his patented shit eating grin on his face and he’s nodding to people as he passes and they are yelling, ” Hey Jack! ”

He reminded me of Mel Brooks in a movie where he’s dressed up as Louis XlV and keeps saying, “It’s good to be the king.”

So I’m tripping but I don’t want to bug him so I tell Heather the story. She says go say hi to him.

I waited for my moment and then it came. No one was near him and I walked up and said, “Hey Jack, it’s me Jimmy Z from Eurythmics. Remember the bathroom in Worcester, Mass.?”

His eyes got wide as it hit him who I was and he gave me that smile and said, “YOU! Oh I’ll get you.”

I laughed said have a good night.

As I was walking away I heard him say it again,

“I’ll get you, Jimmy!!”